Newt: Mugged Mangled and MAULED (but NOT MAIMED) by Mitt!

At 8:23 p.m. ET, with 63 percent of precincts reporting, former Mass. Gov. Mitt Romney dealt a powerful counterpunch to former U.S. Speaker of the House Newt Gingrich, 47.1 percent to 31.5 percent in the Florida Republican presidential primary. Politico called Florida, “five states in one,” and a “political behemoth.” Certainly it is, and certainly it was, knocking Gingrich down to size and giving the GOP establishment its first good news since New Hampshire. S-A-L-U-T-E,  Old Gringo!

Gingrich is a bully, and Romney — true to form — is a tad robotic. It’s what made him so successful in the corporate arena. His personality is set to accomplishing tasks, point by point. Fortunately, he hired good people, who told him that his task in Florida was to go toe-to-toe with Gingrich. He must have taken them for their word because the bloodsport of this week’s Florida Primary made South Carolina look like a game of powder-puff football, and that’s sayin’ something! Throughout the campaign, the former speaker was being, as ESPN’s Tony Kornheiser likes to say, “chesty.” It was as if he’d moved the ample girth around his waist a little higher, puffing up like a bird in mating season. This classic bully behavior was easily solved by Mitt’s handlers, and once Willard got aggressive with Newt, Gingrich backed down, cowered, griped and slunk off to blame others for his failures.

Newt’s schoolyard bully routine worked in South Carolina because so many politicos make that behavior standard operating procedure. If you’d listen to the liberal-leaning MSNBC,  the Palmetto State could even be viewed as having a perpetually immature political culture. If you were to listen to the more Right Wing-Oriented FOX News, Florida, on the other hand, has pretty much developed into the epitome of the GOP establishment, which is why former NYC Mayor Rudy Giuliani camped out there in 2008, in the hopes he could save his campaign. The Sunshine State was the perfect place for Mittens to bounce back, and only contained toil and strife for Newt.

As for the Li’l Duce, former U.S. Sen. Rick Santorum, he’s done. Or let’s hope so.  There’s a story about President Lyndon Johnson calling up Ala. Gov. George Wallace to the White House to discuss implementing civil rights legislation. To get Wallace on his side, Johnson asked him how he wanted to be remembered — as a man who built, and who cared for those who needed it, or as a man who hated.  Santorum will  go down as the latter,  and that’s why he’s a distant third. Few people want to vote for hate or anger. They want hope, promise, and a better tomorrow. As for me, I just think he’s starting to look like a WHINEY ASS!

Where do we go from here? It’ll be a slug-fest into April, but with a big state behind him and the momentum, Romney has yet again claimed the title of front-runner for the Republican nomination. Now it’s your turn. Who’s your money on at this point?

by J.L. Mann Cromer, Jr., who served as the only true independent member of the South Carolina General Assembly from 1990-1998. Currently, he is a general practice attorney in Columbia, S.C., concentrating in probate and estate planning, criminal defense and personal injury law.

With Wes Wolfe. He wrote for 11 newspapers in five states and is the marketing coordinator for ACEC Virginia.

Posted in Legal Advice

37 thoughts on “Newt: Mugged Mangled and MAULED (but NOT MAIMED) by Mitt!

  1. Paul Abrams on said:

    Sad to say Bubba it looks like 4 more years of Obozo. Its ad that the people in FL want a Rhino like Mit, Obozo will rip him in debate on health care. If Mit is the only choice in November I will just stay home.

  2. Pat Chisum on said:

    wait? there are more primaries after South Carolina? Should I still be paying attention?

    Honestly, Now that it’s a 2 man race between Romney and Newt, I really wish we still lived under the English Crown.

    So I got a choice between Obama and one of these two clowns? In a choice between a turd sandwich and a giant douche, I think ill go with the turd sandwich!


  3. The Monzzz Aaayyy on said:

    I thought for sure Buchanon would win Florida. Is it too late to call Jeb to rig another one, Scalia and Thomas are on stand by.

    Of course Floridians did not like Gingrich, they surely identify with more old schoole GOP ideals – making money. Everyone knows about Mitt’s wealth, and Gingrich isn’t man enough to admit how he made his money (hint: historians don’t make 6 figures, lobbyists do). It looks like the establishment win again (sort of). The question becomes what the right wing fringe (formerly known as the Tea Partaayyy) does, will they take the Deminty balls and go home?

  4. The Monzzz Aaayyy on said:

    Question: if Newt does not get nominated by the GOP, do I get to slap everyone that wore one of those “SC GOP – We Pick Presidents” T-Shirts.

  5. John on said:

    I agree but what does Steve Douglas think?

    • Steve Douglas on said:

      Steve thinks that, despite Crown Prince Newt’s popularity i
      among the right wing pitchforkistas of the tiny, xenophobic Balkan nation of South Carolina, Newt never had a chance in Florida. While Florida is the terminal drain swirlspot for retiring and dying right wing belligerants from the rest of the contiguous 47 states, ensuring that we remain politically just neanderthal enough to never get ahead, Carolina bombthrowers are a different strain, as are their picks, like Newt. Sandlapping goosesteppers are so convinced they already live on Cloud 9, and only ever leave the state for things like a quick day trip to the Daytona 500, or a Beck march on the Capitol Mall, or a weekend at Dollywood. They never drift their way to Florida for long enough to get the political drift, and can’t be expected to have anticipated Der Fuhrer Newt’s faceplant in Gatorland.

      • The Monz Aayyyy on said:

        Excellent post…aaayyyyy

      • John on said:

        oh my

        • cromeradmin on said:

          Lions and tigers and donkeys…

  6. Matt Tischler on said:

    I can’t wait to see Obama beat Mitt like an old, used baseball glove in November!

    • Steve Douglas on said:

      Amen, Brother! And then stand over him taunting like Ali over a prostrate Liston.

      • Mary on said:

        I’ll second that AMEN!!!!!!!!!!

  7. Donna on said:

    Above all, the article you wrote gave me laughter, which is sorely needed right now. But to get to the point: I am a Democrat. So, seeing the Republicans as the proverbial ‘House divided” at this point gives me some comfort. No, I am not saying I am thrilled and overjoyed with President Obama. I would even venture to say I am barely minimally satisfied with his administration. Still and yet, he is a Democrat. Could he be more “presidential?’ Yes, perhaps so. But I digress. As between Mitt, the eye of Newt, Rick “what about my needs?” Santorum and Ron Paul, I like Ron Paul. He’s a genuine guy….but not presidential. Newt, simply put, is an original arrogant ass. Great if you want to send someone in with the attitude that it is “easier to say the hell with you than to ask permission.” (that is a permutation of the saying “it is easier to ask forgiveness than permission” Newt wouldn’t ask forgiveness for a darn thing. Mitt, on the other hand, seems to be in a perpetual state of feeling he might need forgiveness…..even for fighting back in Florida FINALLY. I’ll leave off of this verbose reply with my favorite all time slogan, which has been prominently displayed in every office I have ever occupied “Never wrestle with a pig. You both get dirty and the pig likes it.”

    • Mike on said:

      I am a conservative and vote republican. I will agree with your statement that Newt is maybe the “original arrogant butt.” However, Obama is definitely the 21st Century Arrogant Butt. His nose is so high in most cases that he would drown in a small rain storm. I hope he is humbled in a mighty way in November.

      • The Monz Aayyyy on said:

        Interesting points about arrogance and the position of President. Would we ever elect someone who isn’t arrogant? I cannot recall a President that was not arrogant, maybe Carter or Ford (who was not elected so should not count since we are talking about election winners).

        I get the feeling that most people that complain about President Obama’s arrogance did not feel that way with W (who drove Dems nuts). So it is a problem with not being on the winning team, which is very American.

      • Steve Douglas on said:

        Say it, Mike. You and your cohort think he’s “uppity”. We get your code.

  8. Dan on said:

    Bubba, love this blog! For the record, I voted for Paul because I like many of his views and mostly because I am sick and tired of both the ESTABLISHMENT Republicans(my party) and the Democrats. In my opinion Newt has too much baggage to win the Presidency although the debates with Obama would be awesome to watch. Doubt Mitt can out shine Obama when they are standing side by side. So it looks like more of the same for another 4 years.

  9. Jay on said:

    If Romney’s politics are anything like his crooning, we are in T-Rubble.

  10. b bugswatter on said:

    Bubba-I love your map of the state of Florida.I knew you were smart,but what a CARTOGRAPHER (or whatever the name is)

  11. Andrew Williams (GO DOGS!) on said:

    (I worry that the jokes about Newt’s moon colony will distract us from the fact that he’s a f**king racist.) Newt swept the evangelicals in FL, a record for a politician who got blowjobs from his mistress in the Capitol parking lot. Apparently he lifted his FL concession speech from the “Hitler Finds Out He Has Lost the Florida Primary” YouTube video. It’s a tribute to this “concession” speech , that Ron Paul now seems a picture of sanity. That speech Newt gave would not seem out of place on a psych ward.

    • Steve Douglas on said:

      Andrew, that is a perfect appraisal of Newt generally, and his theatrical performance last night. “Ein volk, ein reich, ein fuhrer.”. The only thing missing was the straightjacket and padded cell.

  12. James Hartman on said:

    Goodbye Newt. The Repubs have to go with what they have, and it ain’t much. They may be giving Obama a gift of four more years but it would seem wiser to concentrate on winning the presidency with Mitt than waste any more time on the vaudville show that have been the primaries, including the so-called debates. Newt tried hard; perhaps too hard, but the game is over. I think the historian is now history. We love ya’ Newt, but love ain’t gonna do it.

  13. Miss Kim on said:

    oh Bubba, you know I have to stay neutral. All I can do is sighhhhh…and shake my head.

  14. Manly Harrison on said:

    I feel the exact same way about Mitt as I did John McCain. Which is to say I have no strong feeling either way. By virtue of being a republican im sure that he does identify with established business practices more so than the current administration. So if one is to vote the wallet over social issues, Its a no brainer as who to support.. But overall the republican field of candidates is about as sorry as ive ever seen. Really weak and disfunctional. Especially Gingrich! That man is a dangerous loose canon.

    • The Monz Aayyyy on said:

      I thought McCain had a better shot, solid military credentials, seemed likable.

      Mitt Romney is the Republican’s John Kerry.

      • Steve Douglas on said:

        Romney is Eric Cantor running for president, and that vision is unappealing enough.

    • The Monz Aayyyy on said:

      But solid businessmen and women would look at stock market performances under both parties and surely be Democrats. Can’t argue with numbers, the stock market with Obama is up.

    • Steve Douglas on said:

      I thought only the Pope had loose canons!?!

  15. Wes Wolfe on said:

    Since this primary went and broke all historical precedent, I’m cheering for chaos. Maybe Ron Paul will win Nevada. #teamentropy

  16. H. Dot on said:


  17. John C. on said:

    Mmmm, I’m hungry.

  18. Bilenda on said:

    I, too, love the map and all the work you put into this Bubba. I think Newt is really Bigfoot so he probably does not have a birth certificate.

  19. carolynCAROLYN on said:

    Great blog! Enjoyed it more than the primary. Keep up thr great work.

  20. Donna on said:

    Great discussion. Steve Douglas…dead on with the “get your code” comment. President Obama is not particularly arrogant. Nor, unfortunately is he erudite. I would, however use the word “cerebral” to describe him. I believe the perception of arrogance comes from the fact that neither the First Lady nor he are particularly “social” on the Washington scene. As for Newt Gingrich, he is neither presidential, cerebral nor remotely personable. Some would correctly argue that President Obama is not personable either. The Republicans need to find their elephant and ride. Romney is, frankly, boring. Either way, their elephant won’t beat what some consider our a**. Just isn’t happening this time. And, to clarify, I don’t want an arrogant president. Just a confident one. Big difference. Subtle distinction to some, but a distinction nonetheless. I respect all opinions on the subject. And mine, surely is just that…an opinion. And I am not even going to “go where” the “old saying” is about those!

  21. Mary on said:

    You never fail to amuse, Bubba, keep up the good work. Isn’t it great that we all can have different opinions because we live in a FREE country!!!

  22. Terri Mostiller on said:

    It’s going to be a very long time until November and an even LONGER 4 years. JEEZZZZ

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